How to Stop Self Sabotage - Coaching Lesson #1
You have all the motivation in the world to lose weight. Youre doing everything right: you eat healthily, avoid carbs and mini-malls with tempting FroYo counters; you even take some exercise. Then the weekend hits. Youve promised your friend you would drop by her party. You ate before in preparationyou will avoid the dessert table. You make a point to engage in conversations away from the food. Youre doing great; youre on the right track. And then Hours later, after your third cocktail, you lock eyes with the chocolate mousse cake. A little voice in your head reassures you that, Just one bite wont hurt. You are tantalized by the spoonful of mouthwatering moussey delight only to realize minutes later that youve just scarfed down a great big chunk of cake. Your first thought is, Oh God, I cant believe I ate the whole thing! Then guilt logic kicks in. Well, I already blew it, so I might as well have another piece. Ill get right back on track tomorrow. After more chocolate cake, you go on to a sampling of everything on the whole damn table. By the time you get home, youre so overwhelmed with guilt that you continue to binge until youre absolutely stuffed. Sound familiar? Why is it that one minute you are determined and resolved and making all the right choices, and the next moment youre sabotaging yourself by overeating? This inner power struggle results when two competing parts of you want different things. One part wants to lose weight, and the other part keeps you from shedding those extra pounds for some underlying, compelling reason. Perhaps that reason is concern that youll feel deprived, or your friends will treat you differently if you look better, or maybe you feel afraid of a big change and are comfortable with the status quo. This part of you actually benefits from the extra weight. Once you resolve this internal conflict, it will be easy for you to lose weight. So lets examine the positive intention of the part of you that is against you losing weight. Action Step #1: Whats Your Truth? In this section, you are going to use something called a truth statement. A truth statement is simply a way to measure a belief you have about yourself. For example, if you live in the United States, say out loud, I live in the United States." See what it feels like to say that. This will be your baseline of what a 10 feels like. (If you do not live in the US, use where you live to complete the statement.) Now say out loud, "I live on the moon." See what it feels like to say that out loud. This will be your baseline of what 0 feels like. To rate feelings on the 0?10 scale, I always tell people to use their intuition. The right number will just pop into your head. In the comment box below, write down your answers to each of the following statements. At the end of your answer, rate how true the statement is for you on a scale from 0?10. 0 would be not true at all and 10 would be absolutely certain. What does this extra weight do for you? Examples: It protects me from unwanted attention. 8 It gives me an excuse for not applying for the job I really want. 10 No one can reject me if I reject myself. 7 I can blame it for my not living up to my full potential. 6 Complete this sentence If I were thin, I wouldnt be able to: Eat ever again. 7 Hide from the attention of men. 10 Feel afraid anymore. 5 What stops you from losing weight? I dont want to deprive myself. 6 Its going to be too hard. 8 Everyone in my family is overweight. 9 I want to feel safe. 7 What did you learn about yourself? Im sure you came up with some compelling reasons to keep the extra weight. These are not conscious reasons, but they stop you from reaching your goals. Change can be scary. Stepping outside your status quo can bring up a lot of resistance in you and from the people close to you. In the next lesson, Ill show you how to reprogram these limiting beliefs with a few simple steps. xo Brittany PS: If you think this could be useful to a friend, pass it along! PPS: If you received this email from someone, and youd like to receive more coaching tools like this, sign up here and well send em your way!