EFT/TAPPING For Self Care – The Ultimate Guide to Self Care Guide Part 2
This morning, I woke up late (I really needed to sleep in). I decided to have a lazy breakfast with my boyfriend, but halfway through the meal, I started beating myself up, checking my phone, responding to employees and proclaiming the day was already half over… (it was 11am).
How many times do you do something pleasurable for yourself, only to beat yourself up for it later?
And, in the spirit of creating the ultimate guide to self-care for YOU, I decided to go deeper inside myself…
This is part-2 of a two-part series on self-care. If you missed the first one make sure you check it out and do the tapping for this highly toxic self-care issue too.
And what I realized is this issue comes from the type of approval we got as children.
When you’re an overachieving, type “A” superwoman (as so many of us are),
you probably had one or more overachiever parents who gave you tons of positive approval when you did something “good” and maybe negative or no approval when you did something “wrong.”
The lesson for parents here? Approve of your kids no matter what they do – “Oh, you’re reading a book”? I think it’s so great when you want quiet time…” or, “You want to play? I love how playful you always are, you really know how to have fun!”
Because what’s really happening when we push ourselves to do more is that we are basically saying, “I am not good enough as I am,” which comes from this programming we learned as a child.
And it’s NOT helpful at all…
So here’s a tapping script that can help you break this pattern.
Think about relaxing, taking some time off for yourself for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
Just because you want to… NOT because you worked hard, not because you got so much stuff done yesterday… think about taking it when it’s really NOT the “right” time to take off.
Notice how much anxiety that gives you on a scale from 0-10, then start tapping through the points:
I’m not getting enough done today
I’m so damned lazy
There are a million things I need to get done today
and I didn’t do any of them
And I’m soooo annoyed with myself
This is unacceptable
I hate when I’m soooo lazy
I’m not eating right
I’m not doing anything to take care of myself
I’m not sticking to my schedule
I’m not exercising
I’m just going to be fat forever
I’m going to just keep getting fatter and fatter
I’m so disgusted with myself and how lazy I am
I totally judge myself for being so lazy
I totally judge myself for not getting enough done
Because when I am getting things done,
I feel valuable, I feel worthy like I’ve done something important with my day
They gave me so much praise when I got stuff done
It made her happy
It made him happy when I did things well
And when I didn’t, I didn’t get that praise,
I didn’t get that attention,
i didn’t get that love,
And now, when I’m lazy I just feel ashamed of myself
All this shame
For being so lazy
They aren’t going to love me
She’s not going to love me
He’s not going to love me
I don’t love me
Unless I’m focused and getting stuff done
I don’t love me
I am not acceptable unless I’m focused
I refuse to accept myself when I’m lazy
I’m not acceptable unless I am achieving
Take a breath
All this shame
I feel so bad about myself
It feels like I’m never going to accomplish my goals
If I move slow and take care of myself
Wake up slowly
Stop pushing myself so hard
I’ll never accomplish my goals
I’m going to be a big fat loser
Not get anything done
Not achieve anything
Ahhhh that’s my biggest nightmare!
All this sadness
This deep, deep sadness
Because if I’m not pushing myself to achieve
That means I have to be okay with who I am right now
And I do NOT accept myself right now
This, the person I am right now, is not acceptable
I don’t accept myself
I haven’t done enough
I need to achieve more
And I don’t want this tapping to work!
I don’t want to take away my achievement
I like to be an achiever
I like to push myself
I want to push myself
I want to keep this pressure on
I want to turn the pressure up, actually
I THRIVE with pressure!
And if I tap this away
I’m not going to have that
And then what will I be?
I’ll be nothing!
I’ll just lay around my house and do nothing
Because I won’t have any reason to push myself to the next level
And then I’ll really feel like shit about myself
I like that I’m an achiever
I like that I’m an accomplisher
I like that I push myself to the next level and strive to be better
But deep down inside
I’m pushing myself because I don’t feel okay with who I am right now
I’m not acceptable right now
This person that I am is not good enough
I don’t accept her
She hasn’t done enough
Hasn’t accomplished enough
She’s not skinny enough
Or smart enough
Or perfect enough
She’s just not enough
And that’s really sad…
Take a breath
All this sadness
Enough according to who?
Since when am I not enough?
Why don’t I just accept myself for who I am?
Why is it so hard to love myself right now?
I get a thrill from being a person who pushes herself
When I think about relaxing, and not pushing so hard,
I get sad
Some part of me needs to keep growing to feel good about myself
Some part of me needs to keep achieving to feel good about myself
I’m afraid to lose that part of myself
It just feels like me
It’s just who I am
I am a grower
I am an achiever
I am an accomplisher
I do things to push myself
I take myself to the next level
That is just who I am
If I’m not striving I’m stagnant
And when I’m stagnant I don’t know what to do with myself
I refuse to approve of myself right now
I’m not good enough
I’m not worthy enough
I’m not acceptable enough
But the truth is,
I don’t know when I’ll ever be enough
I don’t know when I’ll ever be acceptable enough
I don’t know when I’ll ever be perfect enough
I don’t know when I’ll ever be great enough
For my own approval
For their approval
For her approval
What if I just approve of myself right now?
I wonder what would change?
I wonder how my life would be different?
I’d probably be a lot more relaxed
I wonder how my life would change if I just approve of who I am right now
The loving person I am that does so much to help other people
What if I just start approving of her?
I wonder what will happen?
I wonder how my life will change?
So I choose to approve of myself
What if I started treating myself the same way I would treat a sweet innocent child?
What if I saw a little girl who felt bad about herself
Who didn’t love herself
Who thought she wasn’t good enough
What would I say to her?
I would tell her how beautiful she is
And how amazing she is
And how much love is in her heart
And that she can be or do anything she wants in the world
She just has to believe in herself
And love herself
And she gets to choose how she feels about herself
She gets to decide that she’s perfect and amazing
She’s so perfect and amazing
I would say I love you
Do whatever is in your heart
I’m going to love you no matter what you do
Whatever is in your heart, that’s what you do
When you wake up every morning, what’s in your heart?
What does your soul want you to do?
What do you feel most excited about?
Do those things
Because all that matters is your happiness
Just be happy
Wake up every morning and just be happy, that’s your only job
Only do things that make you happy
And bring you joy
Because when you have joy in your life
You spread joy to other people
When you are happy you bring happiness to other people
And that’s all that matters
You take care of you first
And the world will be a better place because of it
But you have to take care of you first
You have to put yourself first
You have to love yourself enough to know that you’re important enough to be first
And that’s not selfish
There’s nothing wrong with it
That’s how it’s meant to be
That’s how it’s supposed to be
I love you so much
Hold this freedom in your heart
You get to choose
You get to wake up every day and choose what you focus on
And choose what you create in your life
And if you don’t like something in your life
Choose something different
You have choice, free will
That is one of the greatest gift on this planet, free will
You get to choose your life
I love you so much
You’re such a beautiful child
And I am cheering for you always
P.S. If this is a really big heavy topic for you and you want to dive deeper into this, you can apply to work with me 1-1 in my advanced program here.