How to figure out what makes you happy
But the truth is…
It was hard… traveling from place to place, living out of a suitcase, not knowing where to get my gluten free meals from, worrying that even when they say no gluten that it will actually have gluten in it… Which leads to me becoming an emotional basket case and crying for no reason for 2 whole days. #notworthit
On top of that, I was trying hard to keep up my gym routine, however that’s hard in a foreign country when you’re moving from place to place..
Where is the closest gym?
How do I get there – cab, walk, taxi?
How do I even flag a taxi here?
How do I say the name of the street I live on…? Huaykaew Mueang road???? Ahhhhh!
And after all that fuss of finding the right place, a few good workouts later and it was time to pack up and go to the next place…
In addition to that, there were Wifi issues in each place I landed…
Where is the closest coffee shop? What timezone am I on now? Where am I going to do my private sessions? (we work on anger a lot in my 1-1 sessions and that usually requires me to do a lot of yelling myself as the guide).
Call me a control freak, BUT all of it just got really overwhelming…
I came back from my 2 month, 29 day trip and completely fell apart.
I realized that, yet again, I’ve been holding myself together, willing myself to get through “just a few more days of this.”
FAAAAAAKKKKKK! This is a constant battle for me… and women in general I think…
I don’t know a single woman who doesn’t struggle with the “I can fit it all into my day” tug of war contest…
So I took a few days to reflect on what happened, did some tapping on it, and finally created a to-do list that put my happiness first.
We always have a to-do list, but how many of those things go toward meeting our personal needs? Things that fill us up?
I’ve been getting better at this but when I miss just a few things, I am NOT happy… which always ends in complete meltdown.
So here’s what I did.
I made a list of things that really make me feel filled up, safe and excited about life by answering these questions of myself:
What do you need that you are not getting?
What makes you happy, really filled up?
What gives you energy?
What do you LOVE to do so much that you would jump out of bed to do every morning?
If you could design the perfect day, what would that day look like?
So I started writing… what I realized is that I already do a lot of these things, but writing the list was very helpful because it gave me clarity about why travel was so hard for me. Next time, I know to really be conscious of making space to do these things, or at least finding an easier solution, even while I’m traveling.
Because at the end of the day, when I’m filled up, I’m happier, more inspired, creative, and filled with love for the people around me, including my students.
I feel the best when I get:
- 3 hours of daily alone time for writing, creating, tapping, thinking (this is also the creative part of my work, but my work is my passion, so this is FUN for me).
- Healthy food with lots of lean protein.
- Exercise 4-5 days per week.
Being in nature for at least 1 hour per day.
Daily snuggles with my dog.
Sunshine at least every other day (every day is preferred).
- To be reading or learning something I’m super INTO every day (this does not mean finishing that book I started but I’m not really into… I have to feel like, “OMG, I don’t want to put this down!” in order for me to do it every day).
- Friends, lunch or coffee with a good girlfriend or 2 at least once per week, preferably two.
- Visualization of my goals for at least 7 mins each day.
- To be taken out on a date at least once per week. I have to make so many decisions daily, I LOVE when a man plans a day for us and tells me to be ready at 7:30, and how I need to dress. There’s something so sexy about being surprised.
- Doing something fun 2 times per month. This to me is usually a night on the town with dancing and drinking… I love to dance and let go and be completely free. Music and dancing and a little bit of vino does that for me.
- Sex daily. This is something new for me. A few years ago this would have never made it to the list, but after a LOT of tapping AND finding some unbelievable supplements that helped me detox my hormones, my sex drive skyrocketed. I’m lucky enough to have a partner who is happy to fulfill this desire of mine daily, and when we go a few days for whatever reason – sick, distance, fighting, etc. – I notice a huge change in my energy.
- A clean house. I am not the cleanest person in the world, but I LOVE a clean house. It helps me think and be more relaxed and creative, so I usually have someone coming to the house a few times a week to tidy up.
So now in reflection of my travels I realize that I didn’t have: 1) healthy food options, 2) an exercise routine that was easy to stick to while traveling, 3) any girlfriends at all, and 4) not very much alone time. Which of course led to me having a major meltdown.
So make your list now, what fills you up? Answer the questions above.
A little tip: you don’t want to turn this into another list of things you have to do, everything should make you feel completely excited. These are NOT going to be things like learning a foreign language, unless that’s something that makes you feel alive and on fire when you do it. Instead, these should be things that are easy for you add into your life now. And if it’s really fun, you’re going to want to keeping doing them, often! The purpose of this exercise is to add more structure to your happiness which leads to less stress and more freedom over time.
So make your list now and share it with me and the rest of this community in the comments below, I want to be inspired by you too!
P.S. Watch out for my next email where I’ll share my daily calendar and we’ll do some tapping on figuring out what your needs are.