The orphan who healed my heart
THISHASTOBEUPDATED
Last year during a day trip in Tulum, Mexico I found an 8-week-old-puppy malnourished, diseased and hiding behind an ATM machine.
I'll be honest, I'm not typically the rescuing type. My dog Bella came from a breeder (don't hate me dog enthusiasts!). I rescue people for a living, so normally I don't feel the need to rescue animals. Although this time, it was different. One look into this puppy's violet eyes and I was hers. She literally owned me. I didn't want another dog, one is enough for me...however after 24 hours with this puppy I was seriously reconsidering my singular pet situation. To add to the synchronicity, this dog had a perfect heart grown into her fur on her crown chakra. A sign?? Ummm I think yes.
Once I got home to Playa del Carmen, my friend who'd been visiting (and helping!) for the weekend left and there I was with two puppies...a 1-year-old and an 8-week-old.
And after mopping up pee from my floor for the 3rd time in an hour, I was chomping at the bit to find a new family for this puppy. "What the hell was I thinking rescuing a puppy from the streets?! I can't do this on my own."
Bella, my 1-year-old Maltipoo, is finally potty trained. "What the hell was I thinking with this brand new puppy?!?"
Our first walk was a disaster...puppies going either direction, one peeing, the other pooping, and me fishing through my bag for proper cleaning supplies.
Internally I was swearing at my friend who convinced me to take this little stray.
"I sooooo need to find her an owner."
And after 3 days of frustration, fumbling, and a few F-bombs...we started coming up with a system.
Bella walks, puppy sits in back, Bella sits, puppy poops. It became synchronistic.
Suddenly, it wasn't so hard to have 2 dogs, it was almost the same as having 1, with twice the love.
I started deliberating the whole adoption idea, why would I give this amazing dog up? She's beautiful, she found me, she has a freaking heart on her forehead!!!
And she was homeless, kinda like me as a 15-year-old.
I'm not going to lie. I've definitely had more problems giving this dog up than the average person.
I kept saying to myself, "What if she's here to teach me something? What if she's the reincarnation of Jesus Christ? What if she's a saint?! What the hell is the heart all about?!"
To make matters worse, I couldn't help but see my little 15-year-old self in this dog. Lonely, discarded, no family...I gave her a 2nd chance at life- now I'm just going to give her away?!?
And when the day came that I finally found her a good owner...
I just couldn't do it.
I'd been crying for days, just the thought of giving up the sweet puppy made me feel like I was back on the streets as a 15-year-old. I tapped, I cried, I called everyone I knew to ask for their opinion.
I went for a walk on the beach and asked the universe to give me a sign..."tell me what this dog thing is all about."
And my answer came:
I've been working on healing my broken heart and this was the final piece that I needed to experience to heal those old wounds.
The next day I called the woman to come pick up the dog. It was perfectly heartbreaking...but allowed me to tap and move through subconscious issues I would have never been able to access without that little pup.
Afterwards I felt lighter and more free than I had felt in years, and just a few weeks later I met a man who went on to occupy my heart for more than a year.
