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EFT/TAPPING For Self Care – The Ultimate Guide to Self Care Guide Part 2

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This morning, I woke up late (I really needed to sleep in). I decided to have a lazy breakfast with my boyfriend, but halfway through the meal, I started beating myself up, checking my phone, responding to employees and proclaiming the day was already half over… (it was 11am).

How many times do you do something pleasurable for yourself, only to beat yourself up for it later?

And, in the spirit of creating the ultimate guide to self care for YOU, I decided to go deeper inside myself…

And what I realized is this issue comes from the type of approval we got as children.

When you’re an overachieving, type “A” super woman (as so many of us are),

you probably had one or more overachiever parents who gave you tons of positive approval when you did something “good” and maybe negative or no approval when you did something “wrong.”

The lesson for parents here? Approve of your kids no matter what they do – “Oh, you’re reading a book”? I think it’s so great when you want quiet time…” or, “You want to play? I love how playful you always are, you really know how to have fun!”

Because what’s really happening when we push ourselves to do more is that we are basically saying, “I am not good enough as I am,” which comes from this programming we learned as a child.

And it’s NOT helpful at all…

So here’s a tapping script that can help you break this pattern.

Think about relaxing, taking some time off for yourself for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

Just because you want to… NOT because you worked hard, not because you got so much stuff done yesterday… think about taking it when it’s really NOT the “right” time to take off.

Notice how much anxiety that gives you on a scale from 0-10, then start tapping through the points:

 

I’m not getting enough done today

I’m so damned lazy

There are a million things I need to get done today

and I didn’t do any of them

And I’m soooo annoyed with myself

This is unacceptable

I hate when I’m soooo lazy

I’m not eating right

I’m not doing anything to take care of myself

I’m not sticking to my schedule

I’m not exercising

I’m just going to be fat forever

I’m going to just keep getting fatter and fatter

I’m so disgusted with myself and how lazy I am

I totally judge myself for being so lazy

I totally judge myself for not getting enough done

Because when I am getting things done,

I feel valuable, I feel worthy like I’ve done something important with my day

They gave me so much praise when I got stuff done

It made her happy

It made him happy when I did things well

And when I didn’t, I didn’t get that praise,

I didn’t get that attention,

i didn’t get that love,

And now, when I’m lazy I just feel ashamed of myself

All this shame

For being so lazy

They aren’t going to love me

She’s not going to love me

He’s not going to love me

I don’t love me

Unless I’m focused and getting stuff done

I don’t love me

I am not acceptable unless I’m focused

I refuse to accept myself when I’m lazy

I’m not acceptable unless I am achieving

 

Take a breath

All this shame

I feel so bad about myself

It feels like I’m never going to accomplish my goals

If I move slow and take care of myself

Wake up slowly

Do less

Stop pushing myself so hard

I’ll never accomplish my goals

I’m going to be a big fat loser

Not get anything done

Not achieve anything

Ahhhh that’s my biggest nightmare!

All this sadness

This deep, deep sadness

Because if I’m not pushing myself to achieve

That means I have to be okay with who I am right now

And I do NOT accept myself right now

This, the person I am right now, is not acceptable

I don’t accept myself

I haven’t done enough

I need to achieve more

And I don’t want this tapping to work!

I don’t want to take away my achievement

I like to be an achiever

I like to push myself

I want to push myself

I want to keep this pressure on

I want to turn the pressure up, actually

I THRIVE with pressure!

And if I tap this away

I’m not going to have that

And then what will I be?

I’ll be nothing!

I’ll just lay around my house and do nothing

Because I won’t have any reason to push myself to the next level

And then I’ll really feel like shit about myself

I like that I’m an achiever

I like that I’m an accomplisher

I like that I push myself to the next level and strive to be better

But deep down inside

I’m pushing myself because I don’t feel okay with who I am right now

I’m not acceptable right now

This person that I am is not good enough

I don’t accept her

She hasn’t done enough

Hasn’t accomplished enough

She’s not skinny enough

Or smart enough

Or perfect enough

She’s just not enough

And that’s really sad…

 

Take a breath

All this sadness

Enough according to who?

Since when am I not enough?

Why don’t I just accept myself for who I am?

Why is it so hard to love myself right now?

I get a thrill from being a person who pushes herself

When I think about relaxing, and not pushing so hard,

I get sad

Some part of me needs to keep growing to feel good about myself

Some part of me needs to keep achieving to feel good about myself

I’m afraid to lose that part of myself

It just feels like me

It’s just who I am

I am a grower

I am an achiever

I am an accomplisher

I do things to push myself

I take myself to the next level

That is just who I am

If I’m not striving I’m stagnant

And when I’m stagnant I don’t know what to do with myself

I refuse to approve of myself right now

I’m not good enough

I’m not worthy enough

I’m not acceptable enough

But the truth is,

I don’t know when I’ll ever be enough

I don’t know when I’ll ever be acceptable enough

I don’t know when I’ll ever be perfect enough

I don’t know when I’ll ever be great enough

For my own approval

For their approval

For her approval

 

Breath

What if I just approve of myself right now?

I wonder what would change?

I wonder how my life would be different?

I’d probably be a lot more relaxed

And grateful

I wonder how my life would change if I just approve of who I am right now

The loving person I am that does so much to help other people

What if I just start approving of her?

I wonder what will happen?

I wonder how my life will change?

So I choose to approve of myself

What if I started treating myself the same way I would treat a sweet innocent child?

What if I saw a little girl who felt bad about herself

Who didn’t love herself

Who thought she wasn’t good enough

What would I say to her?

I would tell her how beautiful she is

And how amazing she is

And how much love is in her heart

And that she can be or do anything she wants in the world

She just has to believe in herself

And love herself

And she gets to choose how she feels about herself

She gets to decide that she’s perfect and amazing

She’s so perfect and amazing

I would say I love you

You’re beautiful

Do whatever is in your heart

I’m going to love you no matter what you do

Whatever is in your heart, that’s what you do

When you wake up every morning, what’s in your heart?

What does your soul want you to do?

What do you feel most excited about?

Do those things

Because all that matters is your happiness

Just be happy

Wake up every morning and just be happy, that’s your only job

Only do things that make you happy

And bring you joy

Because when you have joy in your life

You spread joy to other people

When you are happy you bring happiness to other people

And that’s all that matters

You take care of you first

And the world will be a better place because of it

But you have to take care of you first

You have to put yourself first

You have to love yourself enough to know that you’re important enough to be first

And that’s not selfish

There’s nothing wrong with it

That’s how it’s meant to be

That’s how it’s supposed to be

I love you so much

Hold this freedom in your heart

You get to choose

You get to wake up every day and choose what you focus on

And choose what you create in your life

And if you don’t like something in your life

Change it

Choose something different

You have choice, free will

That is one of the greatest gift on this planet, free will

You get to choose your life

I love you so much

You’re such a beautiful child

And I am cheering for you always

Xo Britt

P.S. If this is a really big heavy topic for you and you want to dive deeper into this, you can apply to work with me 1-1 in my advanced program here. 

 

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